Fabulista Workout: The Grand Sainted Sanction.

Every year in June, I make my annual pilgrimage to an island set in the sea for the religious celebration of the Grand Sainted Sanction. It is an annual event that every believer in the Order of the Fabulous looks forward in zealous anticipation.

The celebration is also known locally and internationally as the GSS. It’s a two month long event which does not require one to do anything except fasting and meditation. Indeed, every believer and doyen of style and beauty will go on a one month long purchasing fast and coupled with a daily meditation of tracking down the latest of one’s heart’s desires at various shrines and temples. Do not assume to think that it is easy. It is also a meditation of the heart to discipline oneself from buying anything at non-sale prices.

Well, the month long fast is finally over and the celebration of the Grand Sanction, marked by a Feast of the Desirables which began the other day. Of course, being an honoured and well-respected member of the religious order has its privileges. I was invited to several temples to preview the offerings for the feast. Yes, I am that doyen who exists far above common mortals and wannabes. I have access to taste the precious and the coveted on display at the various sanctuaries way before the other lesser beings even get to see or even smell it – the smell that rises to fill the temple with its heady perfume of tanned leather and coloured suede.

The first of many sanctuaries I have visited was the holy shrine of Ferragamo. I entered the crystal gates with the keepers holding the door for me. Inside the holy of holies I touched and felt many things. The Matrons of Virtues glided gracefully across the felted floors, producing Matters of Miracles and Beauty for my perusal and consumption. Of course, as a gesture of goodwill, I finally departed with grand rewards – the coveted Palinuro Loafers of Great Comfort in ivory leather and the Belt of Miraculous Colours in blue and white.

The next day, Vestal Virgins invited me to the Temple of Bally. As I entered the Gates of Grand Oak Brown, the virgins danced before me and graced their steps with the latest creations from the newly appointed temple keeper, the sagely Brian Atwood. After a grand and respectful homage to the sage, I left with a great blessing of illustrious beauty – the coveted Great Works of Cajano, the famed oxfords in brown perforated leather.

Finally, I arrived at the building dedicated to the Goddess at the Grand Temple of Ta-Ka (She Might Yell). It was a grand affair at the temple. Inside the Hall of the Great Sages, there were a group of vestal virgins and gatekeepers in every Chamber of Beauteous Things. I went down to the Basement of Great By And By and found great gifts of the softest creations – Towels of Great Blessings, Oils of Holy Aromas amongst other things.

My fasting and meditations had worked. They are now rewarding me with gifts from above – boutiques on the upper level chambers. This is only the beginning of a two month long celebration. Stay tuned for the continuing saga of festivities, feasts and other assorted celebrations.