Instinct and intuition.

…and then she knew, instinctively, she had to go. There wasn’t any warning, but generations of wisdom and intuition had granted her the sight – the ability to see with tangibility what mere mortals could only feel. And so she knew she cannot stay any longer than was necessary. Her life and her very future were at stake. Within her bosoms, she carries with her a spark, a hope that could kindle the world for generations to come. But for the spark to survive and lay hold to a new combustion, to oxygenize the new reality, she must get away.

She knew that… but so does her enemy. They are the ones who prey upon those who dare to dream beyond the darkness. They who sap the very life force from those who carry the spark, who inherited the sight. They worship at the arcane throne of the Status Quo. Their myopia shuts them from the light beyond the dark. They cannot see beyond the throne of the ultimate evil.

And yet, it is often that evil does not see itself so. Evil sees itself righteous under the circumstances. Evil swings the moral bearings into extremities, turning into shades of grey when it suits them. Yet evil can never comprehend what triggers the desire for them who decides to depart. Evil thus wallows in its own deplorable mire in perpetuity. Eternally pondering, infinitely unable to neither grasp nor comprehend, failing to see beyond its own vanity and obsession.

She knew she had to go. She wisely and carefully bides her time in and with evil. Surviving in the mire, but never of the mire. She waits for the right time, the favourable opportunity. She knows it will come. She knows its exact time not, but understands its imminence. So she waits, patiently.

She knows she has to leave.

Running Away.

When two notes that share the same energy meets each other, they reinforce each others volume and we hear this strangely discordant harmony. When a song sings to your heart, it is no longer a song but becomes a salve for your soul. It melts into you and becomes the balm for your body's lacerated fibres.

Your mind stops churning for a moment to hear what the song is saying. It stirs and resonates with you. Your eyes concur with the words. They begin to release a pain so wet it stains your cheeks as it drains off from them.

You begin to savour the sweet intoxication that seems to slit your wrists while the notes plunge into your heart. The words, they begin to tear your reality to shreds. You are left in your broken pieces.

You think you've been saved. You pick up the pieces of you and you try to fix the dismantled, the lost. You think you've been saved.

You might just be; but until the next discordant song come along again.

---

RUNNING AWAY - Midnight Hour.

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright here, there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me, I don't want to play.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Remember The Tripods?

I missed them.

I miss my childhood.

I miss my innocence.

I miss make-believe.

I miss impossibilities.

Beauty and the Brain.

Say hello to Anorexia Nervosa...

...with brains.

Hothouse flowers. Falling stars.

There are a myriad of falling stars. Shining struggling to be seen. Their brilliance shine stronger, brighter and more resilient than any in our system combined. Their potential and their future, smothered by the inconsequential nearness of things within reach.

These hothouse flowers have it made. Multiple, uniformed – immaculate. They do not need the anything. They are here but for the superficial necessity of a system that will let them be known and set them for their future. Their incubated birth and isolated growth sets them up. It also brings them down. By the triflest of breezes and lightest of blows, they wilt, wither and die without nary an attempt to survive.

Please send me out of this hothouse, get me far away from the nursery and the grubby hands of the nurturers. Their artificial works scares me, their plastic creation offends me. Let me away from these synthedrome and let me breathe by the falling stars.

I shall incandesce myself to bask in their natural light, to be one with them, to breathe at their height. Let me burn myself that they can take flight, that their future collapses not.

Let me out of this strange hothouse, away from its artificial grouse. Send me out to the burning woods, decant, descend, incandescent. Tiger, tiger burning bright, can’t you see my synthetic plight.

- Vincent Immanuel Pang, 2007

A New Hope

Children are a labour of love. Or they are supposed to be. What becomes of them after that is another story, naturally.

A child is a life, a new hope conceived not of intellect but a complex amalgamation of emotions beyond human logical comprehension.

Thus when a new hope impends, a congratulatory salutation is always in order to pave the way of this new omen of faith and joy.

So I wish you all the best my dear friend. May this new symbol of great joy be the emblem that destiny will grant you and yours all the deliciousness that life can bring.

Digitally Integrated Entity - D.I.E.

Sterile | Immaculate | Rational | Perfect

Everyone has their own number in the system that we operate under.

We're moving to a situation where your lives exist as information.

One world, one life, one chance, one reason.

All under one sky, unchanging, one season.

(Words from Integral, Pet Shop Boys.)

kNOw ME.

Do not assume to know my mystery
As you read through the pages of my history
Beyond the words these pages seep
A world lying dormant beyond your reap

By the sight of superficial eyes
Screams a million scandalous lies
Harken to the voice that gently lulls
Wisdom resulting intimate mulls

Epiphanies come by way of the heart
Understand thus the song of the lark
Stand by me with a million falling leaves
Empathy comprehending by a sieve

Realities dreams acknowledges
Experiencing discerning without any cages
Come with me to my world’s domain
To the place where truths remain

- Vincent I Pang

Flat Viewing Checklist

I am currently in the market for a new apartment. While browsing the Internet for information on how to view and choose a flat, I collated this list. I thought I could post it up here as a reference and reminder for myself as wll as anyone who is or is thinking of looking for a place.

---

You should always play the role of a discerning client when viewing a flat. Remember, you are probably making a year-long commitment that will cost thousands of pounds. Consequently, feel free to ask as many questions necessary for you to feel comfortable about the decision. The property manager/ person showing you the flat should respect your diligence.

Before you arrive for the flat viewing, make sure you have a checklist of things to look for and a list of questions to ask about the flat and management company.

The following three checklists are a good tool to use before, during, and after the flat viewing. Please use these checklists as a guide and feel free to edit the list to best suit your needs.

Before the Viewing
Before the viewing, ask the most important questions over the phone to make sure the flat is even a potential candidate. Here are some big questions for you to consider:

• How many bedrooms in the houseshare?
• Where is the place located?
• What is the rent? How much are utilities per month?
• Does the landlord allow pets?
• Does the place offer X or Y that we absolutely must have?
• Is the flat located close enough to work, or school?
• Is the flat located near the tube or a bus line?

If time permits, you should drive/walk by the place to get a feel for the neighborhood and see if you like the building before the actual viewing.

During the Viewing
Dress neatly and show up well groomed for the occasion. Making a good first impression can give you an advantage when competing with other people for the flat.
If possible, you should bring the following things with you to the viewing:

• A pen and notepad
• A form of identification
• References from previous landlords
• Your checkbook
• A digital camera to take pictures of the space for review later

When you are visiting the flat, make sure to check out the following:

• Are the door locks stable and functional?
• Do all of the windows have functional locks, screens, and do they open and close easily?
• Do the oven and all the burners on the stove function properly?
• Is the refrigerator frost-free?
• Are there any major cracks in the walls or ceilings?
• How is the water pressure for both hot and cold water?
• Look underneath the kitchen sink, behind the stove and refrigerator, and low level kitchen cabinets. Are there any rodent droppings, or holes where rodents/insects could come in?
• Do you see any mousetraps, or bait, indicating a current or previous rodent problem?
• Do you see any signs of water stains, swelling, or warping along the baseboards? Does the flat smell of mildew?
• How many electrical outlets are in each room?
• How many telephone jacks are in the flat and where are they located?
• Is there a cable television and Internet hookup?
• Are there smoke detectors in the flat, and are they all working?
• Is there a fire extinguisher in the flat?
• On the exterior of the property, how do the grounds look? Is the grass neatly mowed? Is the snow shoveled away? Is there any rubbish or debris on the sidewalks or lawns? Is the building facade neatly painted and well-maintained?

While you meeting with the property manager/ potential flatmate, here are some questions to ask:

• What is the average utility bill?
• What is the monthly rent?
• Is an advance required? If so, how many months?
• Are any utilities included in the monthly rent?
• How long will the lease run?
• Is there a guarantee on the rent fee? Will it go up? If so, how much?
• Is it possible to renew?
• What is the pet policy for the building?
• Is there any parking provided?
• How are regular and emergency maintenance issues handled (who pays)?
• What is the policy for subletting (who can rent)?
• How is rubbish disposal handled?
• Has the flat building been broken into in the last few years?

Before leaving, you should make sure that you have a clear understanding of the application process and the date that the flat will become available.

After the Viewing
After you have seen the flat, think seriously about what you have seen. If there are doubts, continue your search. If you are interested, but would like to keep looking around, it’s a good idea to find out how many more showings the property manager/ person has. This will let you estimate how much time you have to make a decision.

If you are not interested in the flat, politely let the property manager/ person know, and thank them for their time. If you are interested, ask the manager/person showing the flat how to proceed with the application/ moving in process. Make sure to provide all of the necessary documentation right away to secure the flat before someone else comes along.

If it is not possible for you to view the flat personally, try to get a friend, or family member to handle the viewing. Also, ask them to take digital images of the place to send to you for inspection.

Snafu

I had coffee with my diehard friends the other day. We were griping (read: bitching) about the rutted state of our lives; i.e. pre-midlife crises. Naturally, being guys, we (consciously or subconsciously) started playing one up.

But one of us mentioned something that got all the rest thinking…

At this place, sincerity pays lip service. Putting on a good, sycophantic show is more highly valued than someone revealing the real dirt underneath. In fact, one may be condemned for voicing an honest opinion or even stating an obvious flaw!

There was something conspicuously wrong about the place. We locals have a slang for it – SALAH! The saddest bit is that everyone decides on a mass hallucination. An unspoken pact was made that “thou shalt not speaketh the obvious evil…”

For example, an obviously horizontally-endowed bum is placed in charge of the well-being program and in fact the whole physiques division. What was wildly ironic happened just a few days before our conversation. An email was sent by said person to the whole company:

“The percentage of obese members in our establishment has reached unacceptable levels…”

The first thought that crossed my mind, “perhaps it’s because these guys have a leader *ahem* who inspires them so…?”

Next came a the ironic plea that bordered on insanity:

“We have to do something about it!”

Seriously? Well, may I humbly suggest that these guys do some firing and/or replacement? I’m going out on a limb here, but I think even someone like the lunatic fitness icon from the 80s, Richard Simmons would be eons better…?

At the end of the night, we decided that this guy who told this story was the winner of the pre-midlife crisis rut award. A lard-tub running the fitness program? I guess you couldn’t get any worse than that…

When I look at life...

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I’ve learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I’ve learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that I don't suffer from insanity – I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.