Fabulista Enjoys: Sex and the City.

Love. According to Carrie Bradshaw, is what all the 20 somethings arriving in New York are in search of.

Labels. Are what everyone else, including the love-seekers are also looking for.

Of course, the labels that Carrie speaks of are the kind that adorns the neck lines at the back of our tops; the kind that are flashed like marquees on billboards, screaming the names of designer like saints on a calendar.

However, I am thinking, perhaps the labels that the writers are also alluding to, are the kind that we are forever seeking and also lay on others (and ourselves) so that we can fit into whatever mould that others expects of us, or us of them so as to make life easier for everyone.

Things are so much easier when everyone fits into a mould, isn’t it? Or is it?

Imagine this situation. The male of the human species is the breadwinner and the female the homemaker. True?

False. I have come across so many women who run their office system like the German rail network but are clueless when it comes to raising kids and household economics that most of the time; they become THE peril to their kids. I also know of men who can’t hold down a job to save their own lives (not to mention their families’ – individually, not collectively) but are wonderful with children and home. They can list you the best method to get rid of that blueberry stain from the white cotton baby’s bib to the easiest and still delicious of making poulet au cordon bleu.

So what happens? Stay home dad and working mum. Difficult to swallow? Yah, you can go all cosmopolitan and say, “Why not?” But what if you are THAT husband? Or THAT wife? Would you still be as cool about it?

Gentlemen, honestly, are you saying you would not have any qualms about being the husband that dons the apron, cleaning up your baby’s poo?

Ladies, are you saying that you are comfortable with a husband who earns less than you do? That you have to pay for everything yourself… and you husband’s AND kids’.

Not an easy question to answer now, is it? See what I mean when I said labels do not necessary an easy life make?

Nevertheless, somehow, some time, in the midst of running the human race, we unconsciously and inadvertently fall into the hegemony spell that feeds us these, amongst other pseudo-norms.

We think we are the better for it, but it is doubtful. How often have couples quarreled for monetary reasons, usually for the lack of it from the male partners? Or the lack of culinary and housekeeping skills that presumes to lessen a female’s matrimonial opportunities? Are we all reduced to moneymakers and housekeepers? Or perhaps a greater implication of this model, that we are all incomplete unless we are all heterosexually partnered?

It seems to be. Or at least, by following and subscribing to the pseudo-norm, we are perpetuating it without questioning the (lack of) relevance and/or logic behind these practices.

Labels. We make them. Then we expect others to fit them and are ourselves thus fitted. Then we make life awful for ourselves and others, using these unnatural, manmade, baseless and often unquestioned fallacies because of these unrealistic expectations.

Perhaps we should try a new paradigm. Charlotte mentioned, “Thank you for being you”. Carrie suggested (paraphrased), “We are not sure how we should do things [and live our lives]. We just make our own [personal] rules as we go along”. Maybe we can try not to expect how others should be. Instead, go out and meet people with an open mind, without expectations. With our eyes and minds opened, perhaps then we can better see the world and everyone around as they are. Not as types or caricatures, rather, as they should be; as they really are…

Beautiful. Unique. Individual.