Fabulista Reflects: On Mistakes.

Everybody makes mistakes. Everyone. And if myths on divinities are to be believed, then even divinities make mistakes. But that’s a digression.

What mistakes can be described as is that they are “unfortunate accidents”. Yes, that’s right, “accidents” and not “incidents”. They are accidents of miscalculations on infinitely varying levels.

Like all accidents that we are familiar with, some of them end very badly. What is important about this necessary process of experience is that we learn from it.

Vases are nice to look at. We put them on a pedestal. They are safe, but they are not tested for strength. We assume them as the fragile things that they are. But sometimes, we accidentally knock them over their high pedestals and they lay broken in pieces.

What we can do with the broken pieces is, we pick them up and we try to fix them. We fix them where the cracks and fissures occur. We fix them where they broke. We reinforce along those lines and make them whole again. The vase is not the same anymore. It is now a vase that has experienced a great misfortune – with the cracks to prove it.

But when we reinforce along the cracks of the pieces to make it whole again, we also make it stronger there, along those broken lines. Hopefully, we won’t drop the vase anymore. But should we have an accident again, hopefully, when we drop the vase it will not be due to the same cause of accident nor would the vase break along the same lines.

Fabulista Recollects: The Fingernail Moon.

As a child, like many others I have come to realize, I have a natural and inborn hatred to have my fingernails cut. Consequently, my grandma had always finds it a challenge to do so then. Once though, in a stroke of genius, she decided to turn it into an intriguing magic show.

“This magic, child, requires ten perfectly cut nails from a good boy’s fingers.” I was naturally intrigued. Grandma continued, “I will then toss the nails into air and give them a head start to rise.”

“Rise? Where to?” I was curious.

“Ahhh…” she replied sagely, “watch out for it in the evening – one will rise into the night sky.”

“Really? Will I be able to see it?”

“Of course you can, but you must be good and let me have your nails first…”

That night was a warm evening. Grandma and I went out to the verandah to cool ourselves with a woven fan, away from the warm house that was dissipating its heat from the afternoon sun.

As the twilight gave way to the night sky, grandma’s magic resumed its role. Peeking from behind the crowns of silhouetted tree tops was a brand new fingernail moon.

Fabulista Reviews: December Boys.

I caught the movie the other and have since gotten the original publication. It (the movie) is based on a novel of the same name by Michael Noonan. The protagonists of the story are really four orphan boys born in December sharing a common but strong bond borne out of a link beyond space and time.

One of the underlying theme seemed to suggest that children need a constant adult figure – the absence of which may lead to insecurity and constant self-doubt about one’s worth; no longer daring to hope – death of the spirit. Also, everyone needs companionship and everyone’s existence is dependent on relationships.

On the other hand, on a less tangible level, the characters brings one to realize that hope or the ability to hope is essential to one’s survival, even to the extent of meaningful living – the lost of which is internally devastating and externally destructive. Consequently, the proposed idea is that one must never kill another’s hope.

Nevertheless, despite the deeper ideas that the story arch tries to put to the audience, December Boys is ultimately a bittersweet adventure story of friendship that stands the test of time and emotional upheavals.

Fabulista Anticipates: More Movies.

1. National Treasure - Book of Secrets.

In this follow up to the box-office hit “National Treasure,” treasure hunter Ben Gates (Nicolas Cage) once again sets out on an exhilarating, action-packed new global quest to unearth hidden history and treasures.

When a missing page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth surfaces, Ben’s great-great grandfather is suddenly implicated as a key conspirator in Abraham Lincoln’s death. Determined to prove his ancestor’s innocence, Ben follows an international chain of clues that takes him on a chase from Paris to London and ultimately back to America. This journey leads Ben and his crew not only to surprising revelations – but to the trail of the world’s most treasured secrets.

Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and Jon Turteltaub and directed by Turteltaub, the story reunites the original cast including Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha and Academy Award ®-winner Jon Voight, joined this time by four-time Academy Award ®-nominee Ed Harris, Academy Award ®-nominee Harvey Keitel, and 2006 Academy Award ®-winner Helen Mirren.

2. Elizabeth - The Golden Age.



Reprising the roles they originated in seven-time Academy Award®-nominated Elizabeth, Cate Blanchett and Geoffrey Rush return for a gripping historical thriller laced with treachery and romance--Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Joining them in the epic is Clive Owen as Sir Walter Raleigh, a dashing seafarer and newfound temptation for Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age finds Queen Elizabeth I (Oscar®-winner Cate Blanchett) facing familial betrayal and danger for her throne and country. In the changing religious and political tides of late 16th century Europe, Elizabeth finds her rule challenged by the Spanish King Philip II (Jordi Molla), who is building a sea-dominating armada to ferry his powerful army to England and restore the country to Catholicism.

Preparing to go to war to defend her kingdom, Elizabeth struggles to balance ancient royal duties with an unexpected vulnerability in her love for Raleigh. But he remains forbidden for a queen who has sworn body and soul to her country. Unable and unwilling to pursue her love, Elizabeth encourages her favorite lady-in-waiting, Bess (Abbie Cornish), to befriend Raleigh to keep him near. But this strategy forces Elizabeth to observe their growing intimacy.

As she charts her course abroad, her trusted advisor, Sir Francis Walsingham (Academy Award® winner Geoffrey Rush) uncovers an assassination plot that could topple the throne. But by unmasking traitors that include Elizabeth's own cousin Mary Stuart (Samantha Morton) he unknowingly sets England up for destruction.

3. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium



Welcome to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, the strangest, most fantastic, most wonderful toy store in the world. It’s a tantalizing toy haven in which everything inside literally comes to life – including the store itself – and where marvels of every imaginable, possible kind, and beyond, never cease . . . that is, until now.

When Mr. Magorium, the store’s extraordinary 243 year-old proprietor (Dustin Hoffman), announces that he will at long last hand over the reigns of his wonder-expanding store to his unconfident young manager, Molly Mahoney (Natalie Portman), the store decides to throw an unusual tantrum. As a skeptical accountant named Henry (Jason Bateman) comes in to audit the Legos® and Lincoln Logs®, not to mention the Whodathoughts and Whatchamacallits, the once sparkling, color-saturated Emporium is suddenly embattled by mysterious changes. The playful toys are all still there, but they’ve turned gray and quiet – and only Mahoney and Henry can revive them if, with the help of a superdexterous 9 year-old (Zach Mills), they can find the source of magic inside themselves.

4. The Darjeeling Limited

In director Wes Anderson's "The Darjeeling Limited," three American brothers who have not spoken to each other in a year set off on a train voyage across India with a plan to find themselves and bond with each other -- to become brothers again like they used to be. Their "spiritual quest", however, veers rapidly off-course (due to events involving over-the-counter pain killers, Indian cough syrup, and pepper spray), and they eventually find themselves stranded alone in the middle of the desert with eleven suitcases, a printer, and a laminating machine. At this moment, a new, unplanned journey suddenly begins. Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman star in this film about their adventure and their friendship.

5. Love in the Time of Cholera.

Based on Nobel Prize-winning author Gabriel Garcia Marquez' novel and adapted by Academy Award-winning screenwriter Ronald Harwood ("The Pianist"), "Love in the Time of Cholera" is one of the world's most romantic stories. The drama traces the Job-like vigil of Florentino Ariza, who waits for more than half a century to claim the hand of Fermina Daza, the woman he loves. Directed by Mike Newell ("Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," "Four Weddings and a Funeral"), and featuring a talented cast that includes Javier Bardem, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Benjamin Bratt, John Leguizamo, Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Hector Elizondo and Liev Schreiber, "Love in the Time of Cholera" is scheduled for a November 16th, 2007 release.

Fabulousness for sale: Authentic Calvin Klein Leather Tote

Authentic Full Luxe Nappa Leather Computer Tote in black from ck Calvin Klein A/W'07 collection.

Feel the luxe quality black nappa leather on this hardly used and well-maintained stylish tote. Designed with a sturdy, accessible zippered top and it is expandable with saddle straps. It measures W15” x H17” x D7” (unexpanded). The roomy interior features luxurious fabric jacquard lining with “ck” monogram and deep pockets and additional holders for pens and cards in leather. This stylish tote is robust and spacious enough to hold a 15.4” laptop and still has space for more of your office or shopping essentials.

I accept PayPal payments and price does NOT include shipping. Will advise upon successful bid or purchase. Thank you and good luck!

Contact me for product detail or price on the comments box. Thank you!

Fabulista Anticipates: Movies.

People who understand the fabulista know a romantic-at-heart. Therefore, I naturally am looking forward to the few movies listed below.

1. P.S. I Love You – Based on the original novel by Cecilia Ahern.



Holly Kennedy (Hillary Swank) is beautiful, smart and married to the love of her life-- a passionate, funny, and impetuous Irishman named Gerry (Gerard Butler). So when Gerry's life is taken by an illness, it takes the life out of Holly. The only one who can help her is the person who is no longer there. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry. So it's a good thing he planned ahead. Before he died, Gerry wrote Holly a series of letters that will guide her, not only through her grief, but in rediscovering herself. The first message arrives on Holly's 30th birthday in the form of a cake, and to her utter shock, a tape recording from Gerry, who proceeds to tell her to get out and "celebrate herself". In the weeks and months that follow, more letters from Gerry are delivered in surprising ways, each sending her on a new adventure and each signing off in the same way; P.S. I Love You. Holly's mother (Kathy Bates) and best friends (Gina Gershon) and Denise (Lisa Kudrow), begin to worry that Gerry's letters are keeping Holly tied to the past, but in fact, each letter is pushing her further into a new future. With Gerry's words as her guide, Holly embarks on a touching, exciting and often hilarious journey of rediscovery in a story about marriage, friendship and how a love so strong can turn the finality of death into a new beginning for life.

2. Jane Austen Book Club – Based on the original novel by Karen Joy Fowler.



This story revolves around five women and one man who get together once a month to discuss one of Jane Austens books. Kathy Baker is Bernadette, a strong older woman living life by her own rules, who organizes the club to help her friend, Sylvia (Brennemen) get over a heartbreak. Sylvias lesbian daughter, Allegra (Maggie Grace) joins to support her mom, as does Sylvias friend, Jocelyn (Maria Bello), who brings along a young man she just met (Hugh Dancy, Evening; Elizabeth I - yummers!), in hopes of playing matchmaker. A fragile, and strange, young married teacher played by Emily Blunt in a performance that still stands out in this very well-acted film, rounds out the group. As the group works its way through the Austen library, their own love lives parallel the classic writers storylines.

3. 27 Dresses – by the screenwriter of “The Devil Wears Prada”.



A single woman who has served as a bridesmaid a stunning twenty-seven times prepares to support her sister at the alter on number twenty-eight despite having fallen helplessly in love with her smitten sibling's handsome husband-to-be. Katherine Heigl stars, together with James Marsden - yummers again, in a romantic comedy scripted by The Devil Wears Prada screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna and directed by Anna Fletcher (Step Up).

P.S. Becoming Jane will not be coming after all… sadly.

Fabulista Remarks: A Beautiful Buy.

It was a good when the establishment I bank with decided to PAY ME for doing what I do best – shopping (for obvious medical base therapeutic reasons)! I went straight ahead and got me a few things that had been catching my eye; one of them a beautifully made Loewe (loo-ay-vay) canvas/leather tote.

Not all my buys were frivolous, of course. I also purchase some investment pieces – a Baume et Mercier (bom-ay-meh-syay) timepiece and a Tiffany & Co. trinket that I’ve been eyeing forever.

So in spite of the crazy downpour cum flashflood that soaked my Louis (which has since been lovingly dried), yesterday managed to be a very good day.

Fabulista Reports: Designer Water

Today’s paper just reported about artesian waters that are supposedly more beneficial for the masses.

I have known only one that brings me great joy annually – and joy is a medicine that surpasses all benefits.

I am an Evian Seasonal Bottle Collector.

This year, Evian brings the term Designer Water to brand new heights.

Meet the Limited Edition 2008 evian by Christian Lacroix.

Fabulista Recommends: Loyalty Shopping

There are many advantages to shopping on familiar grounds. For starters, the people in the shop/boutique/atelier/maletier are on familiar terms with you. That means, no waiting, no queuing – service is always available to you. Case in point; a certain luggage store in central shopping district. Yours truly almost never have to queue, even on a crowded weekend. Plus, you get to be ‘in the know’ for sales and promotions and even make reservations on ‘to die for’ products or items that others are queuing just to have a look at *wink*.

Another point, you don’t need to be served to be served. Being a dizzily caffeinated fabulista-shopaholic, I have a favourite café joint. The moment the baristas see my face, they just smile, raise their head and brows as an acknowledgement and confirmation. I just whip out my plastic and in a few seconds, my drink is ready for collection. The only time I spend talking is where it matters most – catching up with the staff, new bean arrivals, flavours and promotions.

You need another reason? How about monetary benefits?

When you shop at places with published rewards programmes, regular return purchases almost always guarantees rebates, discounts and freebies. Yours truly have been making discount purchases from leather goods houses, nutrition and lifestyle outlets and even free merchandise all thanks to the loyal-customers programme.

The abovementioned are just some of the many advantages and benefits to be had from loyalty shopping – going back to the same place all the time, building up a rapport with the staff and even making friends with some of them. Trust me, it’s a privilege that is all yours…

Fabulista: Is not a toy.

I am elegance and grace defined. Unfortunately, there are the uninitiated who mistakes it as weakness.

Nay, nave, I am vicious, vociferous and vindictive personified.

An acquaintance had been sending out invitations to one’s wedding dinner. The process had been going on for more than a month now and being the fabulista that I am, I knew about it. I am not sore about the non-invitation, in fact, except from close friends, I never look forward to any sort of invitation, especially the pink types.

I am also aware that many had declined her invitation. As a result, there are several empty tables. So, imagine my chagrin when I was approached with a last minute invite from said acquaintance. It was obvious that I was meant to be the gap-filler to prevent a loss of profits.

Peeved – I was taken as a spare tyre, a replacement! How rude! I am not putty – I don’t play as filler. I do not enjoy being taken as a pawn to your profits/loss margin.

I have thus declined the invite as well, excusing myself in the usual elegant way. It ironic though – even without tasting the dinner, it has already left a bad taste in my mouth.

Watch out – this is the Fabulista you are working with. The Fabulista is NOT a toy.

Fabulista Reflects: On Laundry

When I was a toddler, I loved to sit with my mum when she did her laundry with a European washer. It’s the front-loading kind with a glass door. I sat for that hour, mesmerized by the spinning fabrics.

When I was nine I was asked to draw my favourite part of the house. I drew the bath cum laundry room.

It was the idea that something stained and used could come out new and clean again – laundry or skin notwithstanding. Smelling wonderfully of phosphate-laden freshness was a plus of course.

Sadly, with life, laundry-logic does not seem to apply. Things like trust, faith and friendship once lost, are almost never found. It’s the human condition presumably. Composed of emotions, memories and sensations, it’s a complex fabric being. Conditions almost never return to its original states once altered.

Fabulista Endorses: Authenticity & Originality.

Fabulista's LV Kiowa Tote

Trust me, it’s not worth the pain.

I am talking about imitation goods. It’s akin to chewing on a candy wrapper when what you really want is the well-made chocolate that it really is.

There is a very good reason to make a preferred purchase of branded items, by those who are truly discerning. This main (and arguably should be the only) reason is for a beautifully designed product that is as equally well crafted. Every designer product is well thought out and detailed to the execution. It is for this appreciation of the artist, artisan and craftsperson who created the products as well as an investment that is durable, comfortable to use that may become an heirloom that we make a designer purchase.

On the other hand, there are people who covet branded goods as a status symbol. They usually represent the demographics of consumers who will resort to imitations or replicas. They buy them and own them for a very superficial reason of ‘face’.

However, what we might not realize is that by supporting these fake goods vendors, we could actually be supporting some very seedy and suspect establishments and institutions. They include sweat shops in several third world countries and many sources have reported that money from such merchandise actually goes on to support terrorism circles and all those what not. This is credible since dirty comes, so dirty goes.

So since one was born original and unique, let’s not shortchange ourselves. Let’s get real. Be authentic; be original. And support the creative and artistic circles. Consumerism, after all is required to keep artists, artisans and craftspeople viably employed. Besides, the fine art of quality handmade products is a heritage worth keeping for posterity.

No heroes; only death.

Every ring on the phone,
Every knock stops the heart.
It is a shot to start the mind racing.
Every nine o’clock news
We are on a diet of shortness of breath
A dessert of cotton fibers.

And then the silence.
And the relief.
And someone in the room grieves.
It is not me, now.
Caught in the suspense.
When will it be…?

The phone, the door.
The cycle starts again.

Fabulista's new IT bag.

One thing about being a fabulista on a shopping fast: thou shalt not tempt thyself by moving around fabulous circles.

One learns it the hard way moving around Etienne and Louis circles the past couple of days. One has since settled on the new IT bag this session round.

One's next target purchase: Kiowa tote in Utah leather by Louis Vuitton.

One would be attracted to the generous sizing and the beautiful proportions of the carrier. It is a design that marries lux and function. The thoughtful adjustable straps cleverly adapts itself from a shoulder to a hand tote, simply by belting them through the various holes.

An ultimately in form, function and luxury material selection, combined with the distinctive craftsmanship and quality of Louis Vuitton Malletier - it's an IT item that can't be beat.

Fabulista reflects: right, wrong, normal, truth.

“Our moral compass can only point us in the right direction, it can't make us go there.”

– Grissom, from the television series, “CSI”.

---

A person raised in the knowledge of right moral values may learn to differentiate what between wrong and right, as stipulated by one’s culture. However, it does not mean that the person will do the right thing. That is the point about choice and free will.

Even then, moral value are at once shaped and passed down through one’s culture. Culture, a manmade entity, differs from group to group – culturally, ethnically and even linguistically. What is acceptable and ‘normal’ to one may not be so of another. What is deemed ‘normal’ is a state of hegemony. Hegemony has the potential and very often has succeeded in making one believe and be convicted in the status quo.

Unfortunately, what is deemed ‘normal’ does not make right. What is ‘normal’ is only the hegemony, the majority. It is what most of society believe in or do. Most of society, however, does not make the right of society. Remember Nazi Germany?

Make choices and decisions, without manmade prejudice, without human influence. Weigh the balance within the self. In the essence and truth of the self, one finds the right and the truth.

Did My Back Hurt Your Knife?

In one episode of “Friends”, Rachel, feeling betrayed, asked Monica, “I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife…?” It was of course, meant to be a sarcastic question at full bite, with excessive fang-baring. She also meant it metaphorically, of course. However, I recently had the ill opportunity of witnessing a similar, albeit ironically, literal event.

After a regular religious rite, at my fashionably popular organization, the juniors were asked to leave. Being junior, fashionistas-in-training, their sense of balance were somewhat not-quite-there, yet. As one of the younger ones stood up, there was a struggle for balance. A sway and a lean, with an effort to gain composition, one of the seniors’ suffered a minute touch of a friction with the aforesaid junior. The point of contact, for unfortunate feather of a collision occurred somewhere between the junior’s temple and the senior hand. Or more specifically, the senior’s diamond encrusted ring.

It was the look on the senior’s face that was rather incredulous. It was a look of disgust whilst frantically stroking the seemingly injured transparent carbon isotope on her finger, in a gesture that was not unlike a parent trying to soothe one’s child. All these, while throwing a toxic look of disgust at the junior. Ay, if looks could kill, the happily nonchalant junior, would have died, suffering from bloody stabs a thousand times or more. However, the junior was too happy to bother about the world just then, since balance one had just been regained in one’s bipod society.

There were several ironies here, of course. The incident occurred right after a religious rite, expounding care, love and respect to fellow humans. The seniors in the organization were supposedly selected for their adoration of the juniors. Yet, I was unfortunate enough to witness an event that proved itself antithetically.

Paraphrasing Rachel, I wanted to release my sarcastically acerbic tongue. “My dear, are you alright?” I would enquire, looking at the junior. Then, in a theatrical tilt that juxtaposes my body against the senior, “I am so sorry that the junior’s head bumped into your hard stone while trying to gain balance.” A dramatic beat later, I shall, with such sycophantic tenderness, ask, “Did the junior’s head hurt your rock/stone/carbon isotope?”

An Uplifting Spiritual Experience.

It’s amazing how some people can multitask. What’s more amazing is the tasks they combine with – like religion and eroticism.

I was Starbucks® the other when I noticed a couple sitting by the window couches and doing some reading/revision. Judging from what one of them was wearing and noticing an opened bible on the coffee table, I supposed they were theology students.

How industrious. Bible studying after bible studies.

It wasn’t soon after when they decided that it was enough of revision and it was time instead to move on to other subjects – the kind that requires two parties. I noticed that the female among the two slithered over the male’s lap and they started to get touchy-feely. Seriously touchy-feely.

I thought it was their prerogative if they wanted to do a show-and-tell and give everyone in the café a lesson on publicly-displaying-affection. But there was a point where it was really an “aurgh, get a room… PLEASE!” situation.

About an hour later, they finally let up. However, without sounding too explicit, let me just say that unfortunately for the male anatomy, it doesn’t just let the up go down that easily. As they both stood up to prepare to leave, perhaps for another seminary, there was an obvious third party standing up too. It was making such an appearance; it was almost comical while being mildly obscene at the same time. With all that studying, I do believe it wasn’t just the mind and spirit that received a boost that day.

It was a revision exercise that was obviously an uplifting experience in more ways than one.

Fabulista satisfied.

It’s been an incredible weekend shopping experience for me. I have been to Germany, France, Italy and back. I am now wholly satisfied; at least for the time being.

I am now enlightened to the reason why I have not been able to get anything from Hèrmes; they are quite depressing when it comes to accessories for men. I went in to the shop the other day and saw a miserable scattering of shoes and apparels. A few dress accessories and that’s about it. Being a leather fan, there wasn’t much for me at their boutique. I tried to ask about their agendas and wallets and they displayed before me smattering of objets malheureux.

The only thing I might consider right now, which is an organizer (which I suspect I have gotten one from my pals as a birthday gift) is a sad flap of treated skin. Bare boned, everything else was an auxiliary purchase. The pen that doubles as a lock for the flaps and the calendar inserts were all exclusive purchases. I wouldn’t pay a grand for that. I’d rather a Bottega Veneta, with its buttery soft, signature waffle weave (intrecciato) leather.

I am now going home to unravel the mystery of the Gucci gift bag at home.

Fabulista at work

What a weekend I am having! It’s absolute fabulista at work.

After a excruciatingly painful but extremely cleansing facial, I was entreated by yours truly to an incredible spree at Ermenegildo Zegna. With a whopping 50% discount, who could resist? So shoes belts and other assorted accessories later, it was time to make one’s way home. So now, how should one choose a pair of good investment shoes? The answer is in the detail of the adhesion – how the whole shoe comes together. The high-end range would be made from high-quality leather hand sewn to its insole. This component is then hand sewn to the outsole. So, in total, there are two sewing processes, making a sturdier and lasting shoe built. The other things to look out for would be the detailing and the design of the whole shoe itself, including the choice of the leather, of course. Luxe crocodile, anyone? How about a bespoke with your name embossed to the sole of the shoe?

Talking about Zegna brings me to my next point – this season’s poisons, i.e. items to avoid at ALL cost. Many of Zegna’s current collection have been emblazoned with their initials. That is grave mistake and cardinal sin in the English speaking fashion world. One SIMPLY does NOT want to be known as ‘EZ’! If you can’t decipher what I am trying to tell you here, you deserve all the ridicule and sniggers that come your way and trust me, they are not admiring your fashion sense. Rather, they are having a field day at the expense of your lack of English literacy.

Additionally, Longchamp put their nylon/leather tote (Le Pliage) on promotional sale recently. The result? The campaign has been overwhelmingly successful. How do I know that? Just walk down Orchard on any day and you will lose count of the number of Jane, Joan and Sally carrying one. Uniform is NOT fashion. All self-respecting fashionistas must avoid this bane of fashion at all cost.

Now for my latest obsession – Hermès. I must have something from Hermès. Unfortunately, it is one of those boutiques that I – haven’t had the chance to explore just because each time I pass by the place, the door is always closed and the whole interior of the boutique after the glass seems so forboding! This fabulista’s next mission is to venture beyond the gilded glass doors of the French saddle-makers! I must have a good browse of the items and decide on a suitable investment. In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestion? Skip it though, if all you can conjure up are the silks, cashmere or Birkins. I already know them.

On the topic of things to get, here’s a budget item on my wishlist – a Nike Amp+. This little collaborative offspring of Apple and Nike after the sport kit connects as a remote for the iPod Nano to monitor one’s jog. It is now available for sale in the US but will probably not be coming to where I am since the radio communication clearance is too troublesome for the local retailers. (Psst… get the hint, my US friend?)

The fabulista shall continue the lifestyle tomorrow – with a hair appointment and a mission trip to Hermès, it’s going to a socialite’s role for me!

Oh industry.

It is not everyday that a native like myself gets to get out of town to do some shopping. It’s the bread and butter issues, you see. Thus, I should treasure every moment and savour every second that I do encounter the material pleasures of the world out there.

While passing a store, so appropriately ironic that it should be named “Apothecary and Company” (you shall see the irony soon), I witnessed the much talked about new fragrance with anti-depressing properties. The quiet joy I reveled in finding the much heard product was much shadowed by the outburst of elation the sales executive exuded in welcoming me to the store.

“That is the world’s first anti-depressant fragrance!” the exec cried out, clasping one’s hands in great epiphanic revelation. The smile on one’s face would have lit a thousand towns of incandescent bulbs. The obliging exec went on to offer me a sample of the said fragrance. It had a citrus head note, with a floral body and a musky heart.

In short, it’s not my kind of fragrance.

If there were anything anti-depressing about the place, it would have to be the sales exec. The smile and the laugh in one’s laugh was so infectious and contagious that I could help but felt instantly uplifted.

I left the shop empty handed. A shop that caters mainly to models and ladies just didn’t have anything for me. But I left the shop feeling the positive cheer of the sales exec beaming after me.

A round around the shopping mall and fifteen minutes later, I passed a corridor opposite the shop. I caught a glimpse of the sparkling and exuberant person who was so keen to offer the fragrance to me. Then I saw the exec; he was huddled in a dark corner of the dimly lit shop. No smile on his face. Staring blankly at his fingers… looking moody and lost.

Oh industry. What price, commercialism…?

If you judge so of others.

There is a saying in my culture and language that if one wishes to pass judgment on another, one cannot allow oneself to be criticized thus. My grandmother was the first to enlighten me to this little thought on life. It was really to remind one not to judge others as one’s behaviour is obviously under constant scrutiny. Unless, of course, one is completely impervious to external comments.

In a recent coffee session, I was privy to the fact that my friend was reminded, rather severely, that one’s behaviour had been untoward to one’s seniors - seniors of the elderly kind. Mind you, this comment is made about my friend who was brought up by one’s grandmother. Of course, when it got out, it became a great coffee table joke. The people who heard the comment about my friend’s attitude towards the geriatric laughed. When the one whom was supposedly on the receiving end of the insolence got wind of it, she was all the more puzzled. Apparently, the two of them converse with such easy candor, many have thought they were related - the writer of this entry being one of them.

In short, a person who knows my friend cannot help but admire his courtesy. It has often become one’s fault. My friend often goes to such length to maintain an easy atmosphere of camaraderie, it gets on one’s nerves.

Anyway, in a separate coffee session earlier (prior to the birth of this note), I was once again made privy to an incident just before we met. My friend and the person who made comments about one’s impertinence crossed path. Literally. My friend was entering a room while the other was leaving. But as my friend open the door, the other just rushed past and almost crashed the glass door. And then the other just walked away without nary a sign of an apology.

So much for courtesy. So much for judgment.

My grandmother is right. When you make a public criticism, you expose yourself to others’ assessment and censure. Once that happens, you’ve got to make sure you keep up such an excellent appearance of perfection. It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie, but you took it upon yourself. You went in there, gagging for it.

Grieving the Experience.

If there’s anything to learn from the first episode of Ugly Betty’s second season, apart from all the fabulous fashion tips, it would be this – you can’t move on until you let go. You can’t go on to see the future, even as it happens before your face, if you keep holding on to the past. As such, you run the risk of missing the best bit. You miss out on getting the present.

It isn’t difficult to realize on hindsight, how harbouring thoughts of what had happened while speculating what might have been can be destructive. The suspicion and doubt eats and it becomes easy to wallow in that emotion. Depression feeds on that and the whole thing becomes a vicious cycle.

But the need to grieve cannot be denied. It is the grieving that allows for one to escape the vicious cycle. Nevertheless, the difference between grieving and depression is critical. Grieving accepts the past. It does not deny its reality. It accepts what has happened. It accepts what as inevitable. It mourns for what it is – a tragedy that was experienced. It does not speculate what might have been.

Grieving allows the mourner to process and compartmentalize the experience. Grieving makes the living grow wiser and thus richer. At the end of the grieving, it makes for the statement that an experience has consequently enriched a life. An experience has allowed sensations. An experience has allowed me to embrace life… more.

Not enough of a good thing.

There is an ancient patriarchal institution where I live. It is an academic institution that has been around for over one and a quarter century. It has been attended by anglophiles and their descendents and has survived over the century through such relations. In fact, their graduates and such also run much of the administration.

Their academic board is chaired, ran, driven and controlled by their own as well. As a matter of fact, they have had a reputation of roping in their suitable graduates to be educators within their institution.

I think this presents us with an interesting situation. This is how I suggest we can propagate it. Have their own graduates be groomed to educate all their offspring. There are obvious advantages to this proposal.

The teachers are fully inducted and aware of the institution’s culture. They also have a firsthand, if not first person relationship with the students’ parents. This ensures a definite foundation of trust with the parent-teacher relationship. As such, the education process becomes so much more seamless and not to mention trouble free, just to name a few of the benefits.

I can hear naysayer crying nepotism and in breeding, elitism and false-exclusivity. But let me assure you, it is not. It is just a system to ensure absolute quality control and faithfulness to the culture that the century and a quarter old institution had built up. It guarantees the perpetuation of excellence and superiority, not just in academia but also biological.

Wouldn’t you think this a great idea too?

Freedom to realize.

There have been many, in fact countless movies made about educators. One of the more recent ones is “Freedom Writers” starring Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby) and Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy). But what makes this movie stand out from all other dime-a-dozen movies about teachers is that this one starred real people. They are people who auditioned fresh off the street. They are people with real-life street problems.

Not actors. It is not presented by people whose one paycheck is equivalent to two of our lifetimes. Or maybe even three. There is a real and raw energy that effused from the screen.

Beyond the acting and the cast, it is the message that truly hits the audience. It speaks about those whose desire is to teach; why they want to, why they feel compelled to. It also speaks about the learners; why they learn, why they want to learn and how they learn. Within those lines, tangled in the plot and subplots is a little message that anyone can pick up.

Nobody really learns anything per se. Everybody, it seems, already knows what they need to know. The real learning actually, discovering within yourself what one already knows. The real key to learning, therefore, is to find that trigger that sets one on the journey of exploration, realization and ultimately recognition of the knowledge.

The role of the trigger inadvertently lands on the teacher. A teacher finds the language necessary to facilitate communication – the vessel that sets one on the ocean of cacophony, journeying inwards to the beacon that is the realization of the knowledge. The beacon is there – is just needs to be found. In order to be found, one must be interested to want to explore and discover it.

A teacher should pique your interest and curiosity – the necessary and powerful first ripple.

A teacher, on the other hand, may also frustrate, negate and ultimately neglect the duty to find the medium to communicate. And ultimately become the stumbling block to learning, which means the teacher obstructs the learner to discovery. That inevitably makes one the snuffer, the murderer of light. It is the light that is the wisdom and knowledge of self and the world.

It is commonly said that one can only bring a horse to the water. One cannot force the horse to drink. But a good groom or steward allows the horse to realize that it needs to drink. Not because it is necessarily thirsty, but that the water is good nourishment for the horse. Not just one time, but ALL the time.

Note: Freedom Writers Foundation, a nonprofit organization founded in 1997, was started by Erin Gruwell (whose real-life story the movie is base on) and her students to positively impact communities by decreasing high school drop out rates through the replication and enhancement of the Freedom Writers Method. You can find out more about them here.

Fear.

Fear. It is supposed to be a built-in reflex, defense mechanism designed in all living organisms for survival.

Sometimes, for some people this fear becomes over developed. Some people call it paranoia and in some well-disguised phases, it is known as dislike of something.

What do I mean by that? I’ll get to that soon, but to quote a famous science-fiction character – fear leads to hate.

I was told that some people are afraid of my sharp tongue and my quick wit, that has been known to shred people to pieces. The first thing that popped in my head was, how pathetic you must be if you can’t even take what my tiny tongue can dish.

My quick wit and sharp tongue are a result of years of human, social observation. I can very often tell what is going in a person’s person by one’s action and/or speech. I read and even question between the lines. So, my questions and indeed, my remarks hit and therefore bite one by the agenda’s head.

That makes conniving people uncomfortable.

It is also a basic animal instinct to seek comfort and balance when inflicted with pain. So like anyone who is a slave to their body impulses, they seek to avoid the pain – the pain of having one’s integrity questioned.

Therefore, instead of having to confront their own inner dark soul, they choose to inflame an external challenge. They exclaim that the acerbic tongue is difficult and uncooperative.

I choose to live by my questioning acerbic tongue, walking the straight and narrow.

Fear.

Fear. It is supposed to be a built-in reflex, defense mechanism designed in all living organisms for survival.

Sometimes, for some people this fear becomes over developed. Some people call it paranoia and in some well-disguised phases, it is known as dislike of something.

What do I mean by that? I’ll get to that soon, but to quote a famous science-fiction character – fear leads to hate.

I was told that some people are afraid of my sharp tongue and my quick wit, that has been known to shred people to pieces. The first thing that popped in my head was, how pathetic you must be if you can’t even take what my tiny tongue can dish.

My quick wit and sharp tongue are a result of years of human, social observation. I can very often tell what is going in a person’s person by one’s action and/or speech. I read and even question between the lines. So, my questions and indeed, my remarks hit and therefore bite one by the agenda’s head.

That makes conniving people uncomfortable.

It is also a basic animal instinct to seek comfort and balance when inflicted with pain. So like anyone who is a slave to their body impulses, they seek to avoid the pain – the pain of having one’s integrity questioned.

Therefore, instead of having to confront their own inner dark soul, they choose to inflame an external challenge. They exclaim that the acerbic tongue is difficult and uncooperative.

I choose to live by my questioning acerbic tongue, walking the straight and narrow.

Fast Approaching 40.

I was told that at 40, you would not be bothered with the opinions of others anymore. I was also told that at 40, you would also not be bothered about others’ opinion of you anymore.

I have to agree. I am feeling the effects. And I am on the track towards my big FOUR-OH.

In fact, I am already feeling the effects. I have been feeling the effects since my late 20s, when I was around 28, 29.

“Eee-yur, that is SO NASTY of you…!”

“Ermh… ok… hold on… let my try… and… hold it… it’s coming… shed a tear”

Then I turn and walk away.

Hello, this is me. I’ve paid my dues. See me, take me or you can eat my dust.

You don’t like my language? You don’t like my views?

Hey the world wide web is, duh, world wide. Nobody asked you to rest your ass here.

A new beginning...

Welcome to spring,
Hope eternal.

A new bloom,
A resurrection.

A new gust of wind,
A new voice.

Let's go somewhere...

Thanks to a certain Mr Otto Fong from RI, many, many civil servants went under the microscope with their netivity.

I am one of them, under the microscope, that is.

As result, I have to tell you that what has been published here, is really unprocessed thoughts.

If you have been thinking that they are facts, you may have been misled.

But you may have not. So it's really up to you. To decide that is...

But enough about myself.

I'd like to introduce to my new friend - Idunexst.

A very interesting friend.

Try it, if you dare.

You might like it.

If a tree falls in the forest.

“If a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around does it make a sound?”

I once heard a sagely old man ask that of a younger person. I pondered the question. My wise grandmother who was there with me whispered to my ears, “it doesn’t matter, child – because you know the tree fell…”

Those were simple words, but it stuck to my heart. I brought them out today to ponder some more. I needed those words to ponder because of some recent events.

Remember the Korean hostages? Those people who practically twisted their government’s arms to negotiate with terrorists. This was after their government had reiterated that no one should travel to countries at such risk. Given their intentions, they pig-headed went ahead with their plans. They did it for reasons that I shall not judge – only they will be held accountable.

But at my work place they were mentioned and prayed for – for obvious reasons. But if they knowingly made their choices, claiming to be called, wouldn’t it have been a glorious martyrdom? After all, I know of a holy man who had more followers dead than alive. It’s human nature – one is made more credible when one makes ultimate sacrifices for one’s beliefs or philosophies.

But my thoughts were neither on them nor for them. Although I was reminded of them, I was reminded because of my thoughts on the air-crash over the weekend. My thoughts were with and for them and their kith and kin.

Those people made plans to enjoy themselves on a holiday. Although their intentions may not be altogether altruistic, their visits would have inadvertently benefit the tourist economy. Unfortunately, there was a mishap – a true accident. So now, they will benefit the medical economy instead. Ironic.

My heart and my orisons go out to these people. I truly believe they need such implorations; more than the other previous party. Although for reasons unknown (or too obvious), they were not mentioned at my workplace today.

Despite that, I was reminded of my grandma’s words – I heard the tree fall and I will offer balm and salve. I offer it because it is needed. I offer it because it is a human thing to do.

As a human being, it is something I do, being human.

Movies galore!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve watched a number of movies. I thought I should do my friends and me a favour – give them a quick review. These serve as a reminder to myself what movies I should go for next time.

Order of the Phoenix
This is by far the most disappointing of the entire movie franchise so far. While visually, it maintains its highly entertaining standards, I cannot reconcile the fact that it is based on the original children’s novel.

Nevertheless I have to admit; arguably the motion picture and the printed novel are two separate entities. Therefore, the producers of the film have absolute artistic prerogative to recreate the story. However, moviegoers should not expect to be told the story as the book did. I have to conclude that while the novel tells the story (albeit in its childish naïveté); the movie merely entertains.

Oh yah, and the fact that I can no longer see Daniel Radcliff as the innocent and earnest Harry after his stint in Equus.

Grade – C-

Transformers
This movie shares the same title and titular characters as the cartoon/comic series many of those in my age group grew up with. However, the similarities just about ends there. I did not quite see it as a nod or homage to its eponymous predecessor.

Many, including myself moaned over the fact that one of our favourite characters, Soundwave™, was ostensibly excluded. Nor did we welcome the overt and flamboyant makeover of Optimus Prime™. Was he used as a deliberate move to woo the gay demographics who were boys when they first watched the cartoon?

Finally, I want to ask Brian Singer, why did he make all our beloved Autobots™ appear so ‘duh’? Remember the scene when they were in the garden, outside the boy’s house, while he was trying to retrieve the relic of the spectacles? I rest my case.

Grade – B+; only for the visuals and nostalgia, definitely not for the content.

The Bourne Ultimatum
Apart from the incredible choreography and fight scenes, there isn’t much to this final installment of Ludlum’s Bourne trilogy. I have to say, the one with the best and richest story content was the first one (Identity). When I caught the second one, there were already hints of what the story is veering towards.

Honestly, I have not read the series of novels, but base on the movies alone, content started to thin out and action began to takeover from the second part. By the final installment, it was pretty much all action and no story – a no-brainer. I suppose it’s a natural progression. The final part was more of a (convenient) wrap-up than anything else.

Grade – C

The Simpsons

This cartoon shaped my formative teenage years. I acquired most of my sarcasm from the characters in this series. Although I agree with the character in the movie, when he snidely asked why would anyone be so stupid to pay ten bucks, for a movie they can watch for free at home? Thereby cleverly, yet discreetly excusing the producers.

Nevertheless, I thought it was worth the ten bucks. I enjoyed the timely jibes at social and global issues. While there is something for everyone, much of the shows’ wit and witticism would be lost to those who never quite followed the series.

Meanwhile, you can laugh at the gratuitous slapsticks that Homer never fails to disappoint. Snigger, snigger.

Grade – B

Hairspray
PLEASE!! DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR!! Go and catch this movie at once!! You will NOT regret it! I mean it in all earnestness!!

From the moment Nikki Blonsky (aka Traci Turnblad) hits the first note, you’d be hypnotized into a toe-tapping frenzy of delightful and uplifting beats. You’d also be brought through a history lesson (albeit American) on segregation.

The actors playing the roles were also well cast – the off-beat coupling of John Travolta and Christopher Walken. Michelle Pfeiffer as the resident racist bitch. The righteous Corny Collins played by singing and dancing James Marsden.

Entertainment with a soul and a lesson on morality. You can’t beat that… and the fact that tween-idol dujour, Zac Effron (of “High School Musical” fame) also stars in it.

Grade – A++

Evan Almighty
This movie is full of clever, witty lines. It alludes to your humorous political, religious/biblical/environmental sensibilities. Unfortunately, all these virtues were overshadowed by the slapstickity of the whole motion picture. What’s worse, the audience seems to lap up the schlep. Woe…

In order to fully appreciate the movie, without the feeling of being intellectually insulted as affected by the mean intelligence of the audience, wait for the rental DVD. Otherwise, watch this ONLY if you’re a real fan of Wanda Sykes.

Grade – C+

Ratatouille
I caught two movies about food and chefs within a week. This was one of them.

This is a brilliant animation from the Disney/Pixar collaboration. The story is unique in an unconventional sense – a rat with a gastronomic streak and a kitchen hand with a retarded culinary sense. But the plot is not that new. Both parties team up to make the best of each other’s physicality.

I must say though, the voice talents lived up to their titles. Especially the voice of Anton Ego played by Peter O’Toole. Each slur, drone and drag of vowels was played to purrrfection. Enough to send chills and squeeze drops cold sweat out of your glands. However, I have to confess that the accent seems to be flying but Parisian in the movie. I thought at certain parts, especially in the beginning, the character Collette’s (Janeane Garofalo) accent more Italiano than Francaise.

Technicalities aside, watch this movie for all its entertaining (great visuals) and educational (introduction to epicurean experience) values.

Grade – A

No Reservations
This movie started off promising. It boasted a competent cast and a potential storyline. Unfortunately, it just meanders through the motion never rising to a crescendo.

The characters were hopelessly two-dimensional. Although there were attempts to inflate them, the attempts were goofus than gallant. One of the techniques involved a psychologist while another involved the two leads’ tête-à-tête in the kitchen.

Overall, it’s a very pathetic shot at anything romantic (and I am a sucker for romance, so that’s saying something).

Ultimately, it’s a shallow, unsatisfying offering. Skip this course and go straight to the dessert.

Grade – D

Akan dating (Coming soon…)

These are movies that I want to catch when they arrive...

Becoming Jane
Becoming Jane is a Miramax film that was released in 2007. The film is based on the early life of author Jane Austen, who is portrayed by Anne Hathaway, and her possible flirtations with Thomas Langlois Lefroy, played by BAFTA-nominated Scottish actor James McAvoy. Julie Walters, James Cromwell and Maggie Smith also appear in this picture. The film was produced in cooperation with several companies, including BBC Films and Irish Film Board.

Becoming Jane was directed by Julian Jarrold. The cast was selected by Gail Stevens and Gillian Reynolds, costumes designed by Eimer Ni Mhaoldomhnaigh, and original soundtrack composed by Adrian Johnston.

Although the film goes beyond what is proven fact in assuming a real relationship between Austen and Lefroy, the original screenplay was inspired by real events, which were chronicled in the book Becoming Jane Austen by Jon Spence, who was the historical consultant on the film. In fact, prior to Spence’s book, Radovici and Tomalin have also acknowledged the romance between Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy. Tomalin’s book was also used as another anchor in making Becoming Jane.

Stardust
Stardust is originally the second solo prose novel by Neil Gaiman. It is usually published as a novel with illustrations by Charles Vess. Stardust has a different tone and style than most of Gaiman's prose fiction, being consciously written in the tradition of pre-Tolkien English fantasy, following in the footsteps of authors such as Lord Dunsany. It is concerned with the adventures of a young man from the village of Wall, which borders the magical land of Faerie.

The movie features an all-star cast with Michelle Pfeiffer, Peter O’Toole, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Rupert Everett and even the voice of Sir Ian McKellan!

Enchanted
Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) lives in the blissful cartoon world of Andalasia, where magical beings frolic freely and musical interludes punctuate every interaction.
Though Princess Giselle is currently engaged to be married to the handsome if lunkheaded Prince Edward (James Marsden), her fate takes a turn for the worse when the villainous Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) throws her through a magic portal, apparently to her doom.

But Giselle's plunge into darkness lands her in a strange new world - the unforgiving metropolis of New York City. As the cruelty of the big city soon begins to wear down the fairy-tale exterior of the once carefree princess, the frightened Giselle soon finds herself falling for a friendly, flawed, and engaged divorce lawyer Rob (Patrick Dempsey) whose blend of compassion and street smarts help her to survive and build a happy life in a harsh town. And while Rob is initially a difficult host, he and his daughter Morgan (Rachel Covey) also begin to be won over by the strange beauty's charms.

However, as Giselle's confidence recovers, her presence in Manhattan begins to cause strange side effects in the fabric of reality. And worse is to come when Narissa arrives in New York.

《往事 | 记忆》

往事 它喜欢静悄悄
坠入 我的记忆中

“I miss him”, I told myself.

Did I say that? Was it my subconscious?
Was there a trigger that I wasn’t aware of?

阳光中 风筝断了线
往事般 落在我面前
那是谁 忘了放风筝握紧一点
捡起了 那年的秋天
阳光中 我住雨里面
你给我 风筝和蓝天
那是我 忘了将幸福握紧一点
感谢你最后的相约
等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远

阳光在 抚摸我的脸
感觉到 你还在身边
那是秋 牵回忆的手温暖一点
我独自 散步在从前
阳光在 照亮你的脸
难忘你 微笑的双眼
那是你 让离别可以晴朗一点
你背影我目送到今天
等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远

等一个晴天 我们会再相见
你说了 风吹我就听见
笑着说再见 就一定会再见
心晴朗 就看得到永远
因为很想念 每天都是晴天
心晴朗 就看到永远

阳光中 风筝飞上天
你笑着 回到我面前
让我像 那风筝贴着天空的脸
让爱是今生不断的线

Instinct and intuition.

…and then she knew, instinctively, she had to go. There wasn’t any warning, but generations of wisdom and intuition had granted her the sight – the ability to see with tangibility what mere mortals could only feel. And so she knew she cannot stay any longer than was necessary. Her life and her very future were at stake. Within her bosoms, she carries with her a spark, a hope that could kindle the world for generations to come. But for the spark to survive and lay hold to a new combustion, to oxygenize the new reality, she must get away.

She knew that… but so does her enemy. They are the ones who prey upon those who dare to dream beyond the darkness. They who sap the very life force from those who carry the spark, who inherited the sight. They worship at the arcane throne of the Status Quo. Their myopia shuts them from the light beyond the dark. They cannot see beyond the throne of the ultimate evil.

And yet, it is often that evil does not see itself so. Evil sees itself righteous under the circumstances. Evil swings the moral bearings into extremities, turning into shades of grey when it suits them. Yet evil can never comprehend what triggers the desire for them who decides to depart. Evil thus wallows in its own deplorable mire in perpetuity. Eternally pondering, infinitely unable to neither grasp nor comprehend, failing to see beyond its own vanity and obsession.

She knew she had to go. She wisely and carefully bides her time in and with evil. Surviving in the mire, but never of the mire. She waits for the right time, the favourable opportunity. She knows it will come. She knows its exact time not, but understands its imminence. So she waits, patiently.

She knows she has to leave.

Running Away.

When two notes that share the same energy meets each other, they reinforce each others volume and we hear this strangely discordant harmony. When a song sings to your heart, it is no longer a song but becomes a salve for your soul. It melts into you and becomes the balm for your body's lacerated fibres.

Your mind stops churning for a moment to hear what the song is saying. It stirs and resonates with you. Your eyes concur with the words. They begin to release a pain so wet it stains your cheeks as it drains off from them.

You begin to savour the sweet intoxication that seems to slit your wrists while the notes plunge into your heart. The words, they begin to tear your reality to shreds. You are left in your broken pieces.

You think you've been saved. You pick up the pieces of you and you try to fix the dismantled, the lost. You think you've been saved.

You might just be; but until the next discordant song come along again.

---

RUNNING AWAY - Midnight Hour.

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright here, there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me, I don't want to play.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Remember The Tripods?

I missed them.

I miss my childhood.

I miss my innocence.

I miss make-believe.

I miss impossibilities.

Beauty and the Brain.

Say hello to Anorexia Nervosa...

...with brains.

Hothouse flowers. Falling stars.

There are a myriad of falling stars. Shining struggling to be seen. Their brilliance shine stronger, brighter and more resilient than any in our system combined. Their potential and their future, smothered by the inconsequential nearness of things within reach.

These hothouse flowers have it made. Multiple, uniformed – immaculate. They do not need the anything. They are here but for the superficial necessity of a system that will let them be known and set them for their future. Their incubated birth and isolated growth sets them up. It also brings them down. By the triflest of breezes and lightest of blows, they wilt, wither and die without nary an attempt to survive.

Please send me out of this hothouse, get me far away from the nursery and the grubby hands of the nurturers. Their artificial works scares me, their plastic creation offends me. Let me away from these synthedrome and let me breathe by the falling stars.

I shall incandesce myself to bask in their natural light, to be one with them, to breathe at their height. Let me burn myself that they can take flight, that their future collapses not.

Let me out of this strange hothouse, away from its artificial grouse. Send me out to the burning woods, decant, descend, incandescent. Tiger, tiger burning bright, can’t you see my synthetic plight.

- Vincent Immanuel Pang, 2007

A New Hope

Children are a labour of love. Or they are supposed to be. What becomes of them after that is another story, naturally.

A child is a life, a new hope conceived not of intellect but a complex amalgamation of emotions beyond human logical comprehension.

Thus when a new hope impends, a congratulatory salutation is always in order to pave the way of this new omen of faith and joy.

So I wish you all the best my dear friend. May this new symbol of great joy be the emblem that destiny will grant you and yours all the deliciousness that life can bring.

Digitally Integrated Entity - D.I.E.

Sterile | Immaculate | Rational | Perfect

Everyone has their own number in the system that we operate under.

We're moving to a situation where your lives exist as information.

One world, one life, one chance, one reason.

All under one sky, unchanging, one season.

(Words from Integral, Pet Shop Boys.)

kNOw ME.

Do not assume to know my mystery
As you read through the pages of my history
Beyond the words these pages seep
A world lying dormant beyond your reap

By the sight of superficial eyes
Screams a million scandalous lies
Harken to the voice that gently lulls
Wisdom resulting intimate mulls

Epiphanies come by way of the heart
Understand thus the song of the lark
Stand by me with a million falling leaves
Empathy comprehending by a sieve

Realities dreams acknowledges
Experiencing discerning without any cages
Come with me to my world’s domain
To the place where truths remain

- Vincent I Pang

Flat Viewing Checklist

I am currently in the market for a new apartment. While browsing the Internet for information on how to view and choose a flat, I collated this list. I thought I could post it up here as a reference and reminder for myself as wll as anyone who is or is thinking of looking for a place.

---

You should always play the role of a discerning client when viewing a flat. Remember, you are probably making a year-long commitment that will cost thousands of pounds. Consequently, feel free to ask as many questions necessary for you to feel comfortable about the decision. The property manager/ person showing you the flat should respect your diligence.

Before you arrive for the flat viewing, make sure you have a checklist of things to look for and a list of questions to ask about the flat and management company.

The following three checklists are a good tool to use before, during, and after the flat viewing. Please use these checklists as a guide and feel free to edit the list to best suit your needs.

Before the Viewing
Before the viewing, ask the most important questions over the phone to make sure the flat is even a potential candidate. Here are some big questions for you to consider:

• How many bedrooms in the houseshare?
• Where is the place located?
• What is the rent? How much are utilities per month?
• Does the landlord allow pets?
• Does the place offer X or Y that we absolutely must have?
• Is the flat located close enough to work, or school?
• Is the flat located near the tube or a bus line?

If time permits, you should drive/walk by the place to get a feel for the neighborhood and see if you like the building before the actual viewing.

During the Viewing
Dress neatly and show up well groomed for the occasion. Making a good first impression can give you an advantage when competing with other people for the flat.
If possible, you should bring the following things with you to the viewing:

• A pen and notepad
• A form of identification
• References from previous landlords
• Your checkbook
• A digital camera to take pictures of the space for review later

When you are visiting the flat, make sure to check out the following:

• Are the door locks stable and functional?
• Do all of the windows have functional locks, screens, and do they open and close easily?
• Do the oven and all the burners on the stove function properly?
• Is the refrigerator frost-free?
• Are there any major cracks in the walls or ceilings?
• How is the water pressure for both hot and cold water?
• Look underneath the kitchen sink, behind the stove and refrigerator, and low level kitchen cabinets. Are there any rodent droppings, or holes where rodents/insects could come in?
• Do you see any mousetraps, or bait, indicating a current or previous rodent problem?
• Do you see any signs of water stains, swelling, or warping along the baseboards? Does the flat smell of mildew?
• How many electrical outlets are in each room?
• How many telephone jacks are in the flat and where are they located?
• Is there a cable television and Internet hookup?
• Are there smoke detectors in the flat, and are they all working?
• Is there a fire extinguisher in the flat?
• On the exterior of the property, how do the grounds look? Is the grass neatly mowed? Is the snow shoveled away? Is there any rubbish or debris on the sidewalks or lawns? Is the building facade neatly painted and well-maintained?

While you meeting with the property manager/ potential flatmate, here are some questions to ask:

• What is the average utility bill?
• What is the monthly rent?
• Is an advance required? If so, how many months?
• Are any utilities included in the monthly rent?
• How long will the lease run?
• Is there a guarantee on the rent fee? Will it go up? If so, how much?
• Is it possible to renew?
• What is the pet policy for the building?
• Is there any parking provided?
• How are regular and emergency maintenance issues handled (who pays)?
• What is the policy for subletting (who can rent)?
• How is rubbish disposal handled?
• Has the flat building been broken into in the last few years?

Before leaving, you should make sure that you have a clear understanding of the application process and the date that the flat will become available.

After the Viewing
After you have seen the flat, think seriously about what you have seen. If there are doubts, continue your search. If you are interested, but would like to keep looking around, it’s a good idea to find out how many more showings the property manager/ person has. This will let you estimate how much time you have to make a decision.

If you are not interested in the flat, politely let the property manager/ person know, and thank them for their time. If you are interested, ask the manager/person showing the flat how to proceed with the application/ moving in process. Make sure to provide all of the necessary documentation right away to secure the flat before someone else comes along.

If it is not possible for you to view the flat personally, try to get a friend, or family member to handle the viewing. Also, ask them to take digital images of the place to send to you for inspection.

Snafu

I had coffee with my diehard friends the other day. We were griping (read: bitching) about the rutted state of our lives; i.e. pre-midlife crises. Naturally, being guys, we (consciously or subconsciously) started playing one up.

But one of us mentioned something that got all the rest thinking…

At this place, sincerity pays lip service. Putting on a good, sycophantic show is more highly valued than someone revealing the real dirt underneath. In fact, one may be condemned for voicing an honest opinion or even stating an obvious flaw!

There was something conspicuously wrong about the place. We locals have a slang for it – SALAH! The saddest bit is that everyone decides on a mass hallucination. An unspoken pact was made that “thou shalt not speaketh the obvious evil…”

For example, an obviously horizontally-endowed bum is placed in charge of the well-being program and in fact the whole physiques division. What was wildly ironic happened just a few days before our conversation. An email was sent by said person to the whole company:

“The percentage of obese members in our establishment has reached unacceptable levels…”

The first thought that crossed my mind, “perhaps it’s because these guys have a leader *ahem* who inspires them so…?”

Next came a the ironic plea that bordered on insanity:

“We have to do something about it!”

Seriously? Well, may I humbly suggest that these guys do some firing and/or replacement? I’m going out on a limb here, but I think even someone like the lunatic fitness icon from the 80s, Richard Simmons would be eons better…?

At the end of the night, we decided that this guy who told this story was the winner of the pre-midlife crisis rut award. A lard-tub running the fitness program? I guess you couldn’t get any worse than that…

When I look at life...

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I’ve learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I’ve learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that I don't suffer from insanity – I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

Being happy is a choice?

Someone in my office declares, “Being happy is a choice”. The message is boldly splashed and flashed across a public notice board. Since I am writing this piece, I think it is obvious that the message got me thinking.

We live in an environment that extends far beyond our reach. Yet we are all interlinked by our six degrees. It is this exponential ‘six degrees’ that leaves us beyond ourselves, sometimes. While everyone tries to be or believe themselves to be active and ‘be in control’ of our destinies, our imaginations are often times gravitated by what is real. In other words, we are limited by our realities – our personal realities.

Personal realities are just that. They cannot be shared nor understood by someone else, no matter how empathetic one’s nature. As an extreme and somewhat morbid example, a cancer or terminally ill patient may be able to choose to be happy and make the most of each day, but one can no longer choose to live longer.

By the same measure, a person whose life in surrounded by circumstances that somehow joy and happiness is no longer an option, if one were to keep telling that person, “being happy is a choice” would tantamount to a slap in the face. Such behaviour is nothing less than incivility to the point of crass. Let us not forget that our individual lives are limited by our personal realities.

So, perhaps that person, in one’s personal glee and ecstasy, should consider that in a civilization where nothing is quite an absolute and pluralism is the order of the day, that maybe a little sensitivity might be in order…?

But then again, I have a nagging suspicion that, in the nature of my workplace’s cultural, the person who made the bold declaration might be a product from a certain order of faith and belief that has a propensity to negate what they consider as ‘others’.

Ahh (sigh)… what empathies… what sensitivities…