Fabulista laments - Relations, Closures and Sanders.doc

I had a coffee session with my friends today. We gathered to catch up on old times and it was amazing how we can always meet up after a protracted period and never seem to have lost any time in between. I guess that explains the proximity of our relationships. Our group is made up of the kind of people that invest in rapport and connection.

It seems that this mutual gift of ours, so quintessential to our group’s dynamic is also the pitfall of our individual lives. As we sipped our cappuccinos and our lattes, there was this to share:

“I thought I saw Paul Sanders today. I thought I saw him along Orchard Road. Then I saw him again in HMV. I thought it was him. We walk pass each other, but I couldn’t see any sign that he recognized me. But he looked just like Paul. I tried to observe discreetly to verify if it was really him…”

There was a pause and a faraway gaze onto the mug of coffee…

“I was sure; from the way he walked – that subtle bounce in his careful steps, the way he shifted the weight of his bag… right down to the choice of his current girlfriend – those sweet, young, Asian things…”

There was a brief silence was the table exchanged side-glances.

“We passed by each other a few times more in the store. If he was pretending not to know me, his done a great unnecessary job…”

I sat at the table, quietly empathizing. We are not sure if Paul Sanders really appeared along Orchard Road today. What we do know is that it was clear Paul Sanders is greatly and sadly missed by one in our group, no matter the extent of denial. I also understood the frustration; I am privy to the Paul’s final goodbye (rather the lack thereof) and the consequent absence of a closure.

People in our group build deep and invest much into relationships. Every tiny gesture is significant, considered and appreciated. I guess Paul Sanders, in his final departure denied a proper closure. Thus, I suspect in many gatherings to come and over countless mugs of Arabica, we can expect various apparitions of Paul Sanders to pop in and out, now and then.