Fabulista Comments And Clucks Lips.

“Vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas."
(Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.) - Ecclesiastes 1:2

My presence was requested at a recent event that required a certain and decent amount of dressing up. Being blessed with natural in-born sense of fabulousness and style, it wasn’t difficult for me to randomly drape fabric over myself and be presentable and ready for the event.

Unfortunately, no amount of dressing up could have prepared me for the visual assault at the party – a bad case of the visible panty line (or VPL). Imagine white. Then imagine it as a fitting pair of pants in light fabric… worn on a female… wearing a thong. Aurgh and eeugh at the same time!!

It was a scene where the wearer was begging to do a lap dance. Unfortunately, I also happen to know that the female entity belongs is in the education profession and a mother of two!!

I have two words for her – ‘gee’ and ‘string’! Or better still, dress with savoir-faire – the gathering happened to have a religious overtone to it!

Speaking of gatherings, the place where I put my fabulousness to practical use had an occasion to celebrate its stable of fabulistas. Now, I am not an alumnus of this incubator of would-be divas. However, I have oft been mistaken for one of their graduates by virtue of my unbelievable fabulocity.

Truth be known, my sense of style and beauty was the result of a complex marriage between nature and nurture. Coming from a simple village known for and being the descendent and student of stylish divas and fabulistas I became a natural icon of style and fashion. How I can be confused with one of those hothouse flowers from the place where practice is quite beyond me; and nothing to be flattered about.

So imagine my surprise at their audacity and shamelessness when one of the alumnus whose offspring is currently in the institution lay claims to this…

“The definition of an alumnus [of ours] is this – one commands a certain gravitas; bears a certain gumption, has a certain institutional mystique; an X-factor…”

I was in awe and shock of the thinly veiled (was it veiled, at all?) conceit and hubris. Can this be proclamation come from an alumnus of a diva-incubating hothouse who claims to be rooted in a certain form of divinity that espouses humility? Besides, if an alumnus is so and thus unique, then why, oh why have I always and so often been mistaken as one?