Fabulista Feels: Amissed...

Strange things transpire over coffee. If you thought alcohol opens people up, you haven’t seen the power of coffee and the stimulated mind yet.

I was having my usual at my usual with Vic. Staring out of the full glass panels, we had a panoramic view of the street outside. I saw vapour forming on the glass where Vic’s face was near.

“A penny for your thoughts?” I asked.

“Just a penny?” came the reply, “baby, you know my thoughts are worth more than that…”

It’s true, Vic has one of the more brilliant minds I know amongst my circle of friends. “That’s beside the point,” I retorted, “you know what I mean.”

Vic gave a wry smile. “I do… and that’s the ironic part.” Pause. “Damn. I wish I wasn’t so smart and I wouldn’t think so much.”

I knew instinctively Vic meant more than what was said. They were words spoken out of despair than of pride. “Tell me… talk to me Vic…” I gave a look that said I’m listening, “you know I’m good for it.” I smiled and Vic appeared more relaxed.

There was a heavy sigh and a droop of the shoulders and Vic picked up the mug of coffee and stared out dreamily into the distance, across the street and traffic as a sip was taken. Vic squinted as the sun suddenly veered through the clouds.

“I’m afraid I’ve missed my chance,” Vic sighed.

“Chance? Chance for what?” I pressed on.

“Chance to find happiness with a partner… look at me, I’m in my thirties and I’ve just realized I want a partner.”

I looked at Vic. I was puzzled.

“My brain had just decided that I want someone permanent in my life,” deep breath, “but my age and my body says ‘too late!’”

Vic tells me how ironic the whole thing feels. I felt the same way too. Sometimes, our mind and body appears so out of sync with each other, we wonder if they belong to the same entity at all.

I am on the opposite side of the same boat. I’ve always wanted a partner. But my partners have always been distant. Not mentally or emotionally mind you, but physically – they come from lands faraway, across oceans, in another country. I always hear the same thing, it’s like a broken breakup record, if there’s such a thing…

“Yeah, we’re wonderful together, but you know, we’re in two different places…”

“You are such a wonderful person, you’ll find another one…”

I’ve been served those lines above, including other variations on the same theme. My currently single status belies my experience in failed relationships. I’ve had my fair share of those… to last me two or three life times. It has come to a point where I am tired. Maybe I just want to sit and enjoy the view, so to speak. It is certainly easier and less traumatic. Or maybe I am sitting around, being passive because I just want to be picked up.

That’s probably why I keep hanging out at the café where beautiful people frequent – waiting to be picked up. The café as a modern day bar or pub…?

Whatever it is, I was intrigued and inspired by Vic’s words.

I picked up my mug of coffee.

I joined in the leaving of vapour on the café’s glass panels…