There is a saying in my culture and language that if one wishes to pass judgment on another, one cannot allow oneself to be criticized thus. My grandmother was the first to enlighten me to this little thought on life. It was really to remind one not to judge others as one’s behaviour is obviously under constant scrutiny. Unless, of course, one is completely impervious to external comments.
In a recent coffee session, I was privy to the fact that my friend was reminded, rather severely, that one’s behaviour had been untoward to one’s seniors - seniors of the elderly kind. Mind you, this comment is made about my friend who was brought up by one’s grandmother. Of course, when it got out, it became a great coffee table joke. The people who heard the comment about my friend’s attitude towards the geriatric laughed. When the one whom was supposedly on the receiving end of the insolence got wind of it, she was all the more puzzled. Apparently, the two of them converse with such easy candor, many have thought they were related - the writer of this entry being one of them.
In short, a person who knows my friend cannot help but admire his courtesy. It has often become one’s fault. My friend often goes to such length to maintain an easy atmosphere of camaraderie, it gets on one’s nerves.
Anyway, in a separate coffee session earlier (prior to the birth of this note), I was once again made privy to an incident just before we met. My friend and the person who made comments about one’s impertinence crossed path. Literally. My friend was entering a room while the other was leaving. But as my friend open the door, the other just rushed past and almost crashed the glass door. And then the other just walked away without nary a sign of an apology.
So much for courtesy. So much for judgment.
My grandmother is right. When you make a public criticism, you expose yourself to others’ assessment and censure. Once that happens, you’ve got to make sure you keep up such an excellent appearance of perfection. It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie, but you took it upon yourself. You went in there, gagging for it.
In a recent coffee session, I was privy to the fact that my friend was reminded, rather severely, that one’s behaviour had been untoward to one’s seniors - seniors of the elderly kind. Mind you, this comment is made about my friend who was brought up by one’s grandmother. Of course, when it got out, it became a great coffee table joke. The people who heard the comment about my friend’s attitude towards the geriatric laughed. When the one whom was supposedly on the receiving end of the insolence got wind of it, she was all the more puzzled. Apparently, the two of them converse with such easy candor, many have thought they were related - the writer of this entry being one of them.
In short, a person who knows my friend cannot help but admire his courtesy. It has often become one’s fault. My friend often goes to such length to maintain an easy atmosphere of camaraderie, it gets on one’s nerves.
Anyway, in a separate coffee session earlier (prior to the birth of this note), I was once again made privy to an incident just before we met. My friend and the person who made comments about one’s impertinence crossed path. Literally. My friend was entering a room while the other was leaving. But as my friend open the door, the other just rushed past and almost crashed the glass door. And then the other just walked away without nary a sign of an apology.
So much for courtesy. So much for judgment.
My grandmother is right. When you make a public criticism, you expose yourself to others’ assessment and censure. Once that happens, you’ve got to make sure you keep up such an excellent appearance of perfection. It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie, but you took it upon yourself. You went in there, gagging for it.
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