Snafu

I had coffee with my diehard friends the other day. We were griping (read: bitching) about the rutted state of our lives; i.e. pre-midlife crises. Naturally, being guys, we (consciously or subconsciously) started playing one up.

But one of us mentioned something that got all the rest thinking…

At this place, sincerity pays lip service. Putting on a good, sycophantic show is more highly valued than someone revealing the real dirt underneath. In fact, one may be condemned for voicing an honest opinion or even stating an obvious flaw!

There was something conspicuously wrong about the place. We locals have a slang for it – SALAH! The saddest bit is that everyone decides on a mass hallucination. An unspoken pact was made that “thou shalt not speaketh the obvious evil…”

For example, an obviously horizontally-endowed bum is placed in charge of the well-being program and in fact the whole physiques division. What was wildly ironic happened just a few days before our conversation. An email was sent by said person to the whole company:

“The percentage of obese members in our establishment has reached unacceptable levels…”

The first thought that crossed my mind, “perhaps it’s because these guys have a leader *ahem* who inspires them so…?”

Next came a the ironic plea that bordered on insanity:

“We have to do something about it!”

Seriously? Well, may I humbly suggest that these guys do some firing and/or replacement? I’m going out on a limb here, but I think even someone like the lunatic fitness icon from the 80s, Richard Simmons would be eons better…?

At the end of the night, we decided that this guy who told this story was the winner of the pre-midlife crisis rut award. A lard-tub running the fitness program? I guess you couldn’t get any worse than that…