LETTING GO - "ON SILENT WINGS"



Have you believed in something much, loved something/someone so much that you were blinded? Truths that millions of eyes can see but you couldn?t, simply unable to (could it be denial?)... and it wasn?t even a deliberate decision to not notice; you were on a psychological trip, leaping over moons in a different dimension...



But even the most foolish of hearts learn... yes, even the one that pulses in mine body... and one day, you wake up and realized, ?Hey, something?s not right... it doesn?t seem to be working...? and then, just like that the spell was broken ? and the pain starts... an emotional tug of war...



There?s the one side of you that keeps saying, ?Let it go... It?s a dead rotting log... It?s been dying long ago, you just didn?t admit it; but now, it?s beyond comatose, it?s really DEAD!!?.



On the other hand, there?s another voice that keeps saying, ?Hang on, have faith, it will still work, just give it some time and a second chance... You?ll see!!? An emotional tug of war, a vicious cycle ? roller coaster of feelings; admission, rejection, denial, bargain...



Of course, while battling these insane and confusing thoughts in your head, there are times when they decide to go on a truce. It is in these moments of sanity, you can enjoy moments of normality and actually reveal a smile (half? Pseudo? Etc?). But alas, they are but mere moments...



It was sometime late last year, while in my rare moment of lucidity, I heard a song playing on the radio. Like the young man who strummed Roberta Flack?s pain with his fingers, the song by Tina Turner gave a voice to my pain. She helped acknowledge it, something I was unable to do on my own (I don?t know why) and I was to find a sigh in the midst of it to release some of the crushing pain inside. The song was ?On Silent Wings?.



As she (Tina) emotes over the microphone, sending waves of sonorous vibrations over me, I heaved a heavy sigh (of relief) and felt a little release from the memory?s suffocating, vice-like grip. Emotionally, it was akin to squatting down, while carrying a huge load on your shoulder; you slowly heave it onto the ground ? a muddy track where you are at now, possibly wet by the tears, but just up ahead, the road seems drier but still made of earth? but just beyond that, as if beckoning at you is a wide stretch of green ? fresh and alluring? and you know that just up ahead, you need to journey beyond the green grass is where the sun is shining warm and bright. It is where everything is fine. It is up ahead from your muddied track.



I am learning to let go of the burden. I am moving towards that sunlit place. I will get there.

THE PRAYER



There are a million little things I could whisper in your ears



There are a thousand good intentions I could sing and cheer.







There are the friends around to offer good something to you



There is a myriad of works that they can do for you.







And it seems to you that I am not coming through



And you start to wonder if I'm really true



I confess I won't ever promise the stars



Nor miracle salve to hide those scars







For everyday I will see the sun



Beyond the heavy drapes of gull grey glum



Along the roads I walk everyday



I'll remember you whenever I pray







There are a million little things your ears may hear



There are a thousand shallow lauds and hungry jeers







There are challenges that come into aching view



There are dire situations that seem brand new







But everyday promises a brand new start



And in everyday God embraces you in His heart.





Vincent Immanuel Pang

Just trying to see what happens when I post again...

Okay, so this my first attempt at blogging.



I fumbled a bit, trying to figure out the HTML codes... fortunately it was all quite simple (well an exercise in intuitive and logical analysis anyway).



Nevertheless, here it is!! My first official blog!! Right in my homepage!! Isn't that brilliant?!!



Alright then, now that at least 60,000 of my grey had died in my attempt at doing this, I shall rest, but lookout and check regularly! I may have some juicy bits posted here now and again!!



Cheers!! :-)